Dear Sexy Sage,
I have a very sweet newish boyfriend. We are in our mid sixties. We enjoy one another and he is open about talking about communication issues when they arise. The sex is kinda ho hum. Some days are better than others but I don’t have big expectations. I feel that his openness about communicating about intimate issues will help us work through things in and out of the bedroom. But can it really help if there is a lack of chemistry?
Please help as I don’t want to lose this sweet guy but I am not always sure I can hang in there.
Signed,
Ho hummed
Dear HH,
I hear you, girlfriend! Here is the thing. The research shows that communication truly is lubrication in the bedroom! So if you have a good connection and believe in him and enjoy him, which it sounds like you do, then you owe it to the relationship to keep talking about what you want and how you want it in the bedroom.
You say one of his strongest qualities is his openness around communication so use that! Let him know. Get daring. Don’t just withdraw because he is not the world’s best lover or because your attraction to him is sometimes questionable. Build upon what you have that is good and let it extend in the bedroom! Its like any skill; the more practice the better. You need to practice telling him more about what you like. He needs to practice giving it to you and learning what works and doesn’t work. This process will make you both better lovers!
So don’t dawdle! Go for it! Gently. Kindly. Add some Sexy Sage fire!
And report back because you know I love being right!
Love,
Sexy Sage
