Dear Sexy Sage,
I am in my early 60’s and just began dating again after my long term relationship of 21 years ended. I am in good shape and relatively attractive straight woman.
I have no idea why but eligible men are flocking to me in droves online. My Inbox is bursting. I can’t keep up with the matches, the friend requests, the likes, the requests for phone and/or coffee dates.
Last night was the height of flirty online activity. I must have been putting out virtual pheromones because the manly bees were attracted to my very female honey. I had five guys -over age 55- buzzing around, trying to land!
While I must admit it was very fun to juggle so many incoming flirty texts and emails, filled with longing for human connection and more, I was amazed that my age seems to be no impediment to my desires or their appetites.
In fact, I feel as ready for this love, romance and sex stuff as I did in my uber randy 20’s, but just a whole lot more experienced, mature and hopefully, a tad wiser.
So here is my question for you, Sexy Sage: Is this normal? Am I normal? Is this what mature romance looks like?
Thanks,
Hot to Trot!
Hello, Ms. Hot!
I love your question and the answer is a resounding YES! You are the poster woman for healthy and active sex lives in the third act of our lives! I say bring it on!
As your online dating and sex maven, I can say it sounds very normal and very wonderful. Go for it! Embrace it!
Let me first say that women who are not having sex at this stage of their lives are doing anything wrong. The point is more options! For some people maybe they are not interested or able to engage in sex. For others, they may find that after menopause, after childrearing, after retirement, they are more relaxed and carefree, and their sexual appetite increases with a vengeance!
The increase in sexual activity for older people, as evidenced by a dramatic rise in STD’s in the geriatric population as seen in medical journals, simply shows that a) people are living longer healthier, b) sex can still be a very natural and desirable activity and c) sex in the older crowd has never been studied too much before.
Verywellhealth.com has several articles on the topic. Here are some salient points:
- People are living longer and are healthier. The average 70-year-old today is healthier than the average 70-year-old in 1970 and has a longer life expectancy.
- Sexual dysfunctions are readily treated. Men have access to a number of medications (like Viagra) to treat erectile dysfunction.
- The culture has changed. The expectations of older adults are different from what they were in the 1970s.
Some of the factors most associated with being sexually active as we age are:
- Positive attitude toward sexuality
- Having a very happy relationship
- Having a partner who is physically and mentally healthy
- Good physical and mental health
- Getting good sleep
Some of the buzzkills for sex, especially for older folks are:
- Diabetes
- Coronary heart disease
- Depression
So, stay healthy, be happy, sleep well, and enjoy the attention, the flirting, and hopefully true love and great sex!
