My Guy is So Nice.
Dear Sexy Sage,
I am dating a really wonderful man finally after two years of many short term dates, looking for the one. I really feel that his man and I have potential for a long term relationship, which is exciting.
I do find him attractive and kind. He has a sultry voice and treats me like a queen. We have a nice time together and are good to each other. Our lovemaking is nice but not hot, if you know what I mean. I know its possible for us to have a sexually fulfilling relationship together but I have no idea how to get there.
We are both in our 60’s and want to enjoy a healthy sex life. Please! Help!
Lost in my libido
Dear Lost,
I am so glad you raised this question because now, on top of all the other pressures, our partner must be our best friend, life partner, roommate, and always exciting sexual mate. Whew! That is a tall order, right?
It sounds like you have a good life partner in the making and possibly best friend.
Do you know the phrase ‘communication is lubrication’? You two have to talk more. Share fantasies. Tell each other details about what you like or past sexual forays that you really liked. Give yourself permission to be vulnerable and open. Say what you really want and then listen. Tell what you really like and then listen. State what you really don’t like and listen to that too.
Have these talks but don’t be sexual. Make sure they are positive and constructive with an open vibe.
Next: Set aside 2 hours of uninterrupted, device free time and explore each other sexually. Give input. Take your time. And then just indulge in sexual play and have fun.
Do this 1–2 times per week for 4 weeks. Then write me back. Tell me what you learned and how things are going and how you are feeling about sex with your partner then.
Can’t wait to hear the results of your experiment!
