Dear Sexy,
You have helped me before get my mojo going in bed so I am here with a new problem. My man and I have been together for 38 years. We enjoyed many years of a great sex life but now that he is sure his erectile dysfunction (ED) is here to stay, I find myself very frustrated by this turn of events. We are still sexual together but I miss a good pounding, if you know what I mean.
This is a very sensitive topic fore my husband as he is also frustrated by his ability to perform like he did for many decades. He uses the blue pill rarely because it causes him severe headaches.
He has generously offered me the discrete permission to do what I need to do. He knows I would never leave him but I wonder if straying from the marital bed is really the solution. I know many people have friends with benefits (FWBs) and that you are a big fan of them but I don’t know if it is right for me.
On the other hand, the addition of FWBs in my life might alleviate my frustration and be a new adventure that I need to accept as part of the new reality of ED . It could make our home life lighter and sweeter.
Btw, I am in mid-sixties with a strong sex drive and he is in his late seventies.
What sage advise have you for me?
Salivating Senior
Greetings Salivating!
This is the third email I have received this week on this topic.
There are a few things to think about:
- Sometimes things like heart disease, sleep apnea and diabetes impact the functioning of the penis, curtailing the amount of blood that flows southward engorging the male organ. Its important to make sure that any and all medical and nutritional interventions that might help are saught.
- It sounds like your relationship with your husband is rock solid. I don’t get the feeling that a FWB would threaten what you have together in any way. I do get the feeling that you feel sorry for yourself that you have to hassle with this. I understand the feeling. Indulge in it for a bit longer. Then put it away and get busy finding solutions.
- You could bring another person or couple into your marital bed. That is all the rage these days. It has the added benefit of a shared experience with your love and can really be a super charger! For information on how to find someone or a couple, click here: Help! I am a Horny Widow!
- You could shop together for a strap on for him or an assortment of dildos.
- If you have not yet discovered the joys of anal play and anal sex, you could explore that mutually, with or without toys.
- He could try an alternative prescription to the blue pill to see if the side effects are less.
- You can try a FWB one time on a trial basis. Check out my 8-part series on how to find a FWB. Here is the link to the first one and each story links to the next one: Help! I am a Horny Widow!
Let me know how it goes, SS! I am rooting for you! Keep that lovely sex drive nurtured!
Love,
Sexy Sage
