Dear Sexy Sage,
I am a man in my mid-60’s. I am financially, emotionally and mentally stable. I am intelligent and reasonably acceptable-looking. I know I am a good and loving partner, kind and considerate, ethical and supportive. I express my feelings openly. I have been a widow for a two decades and am very proud of my children. I am ready for my last and great love.
My problem is that in the world of online dating, I have a hard time getting a second date. The last three women I have dated, for 1–3 months each, have each ended it because they ‘just weren’t feeling it’. They don’t give me too much information so I am left wondering where I am deficient.
I get that I am pretty low key and don’t project a lot of energy. I could definitely be more romantic, although I do take my dates to dinner and buy them flowers. I am a bit shy but when I feel very comfortable, I am very open and loyal. I deal successfully with ED through the magic of pharmaceuticals, but wonder if the problem is in the realm of intimacy.
How do I figure out what my problem is, Sexy?
Lonely Good Guy
Dear LGG,
I love your honest assessment of who you are! Good for you! You do sound like one of the good guys and the kind of partner that many women want.
I have a few recommendations:
- Take the long view. You know you have what it takes once in a relationship. You just need help with the short but crucial initial steps of meeting and courting and attracting the right woman. A positive mental attitude (PMA) needs to be emblazoned on your mind!
- Work with a dating coach. Try mock conversations while being videotaped so you can see how you come across. Check your energy level, how you come across, and practice being flirtatious. Also, get a wardrobe check up and make sure you have 2 nice dating outfits.
- Access what you bring to a relationship; what you give to your partner. When you meet a woman you like, make sure to emphasize those 3–5 points.
- Go back to the women who rejected you. In a friendly enthusiastic way ask them to help you out and give you some candid feedback about what went wrong for them. Let them know you can take whatever they dish out as their input will help you grow.
- Sit quietly every day for about 5 minutes and affirm that you are worthy of love, that you are loveable, and see the right woman coming towards you with open arms. Take that visualization with you all day long.
Let me know how it goes, Lonely Good Guy. I am here for you.
Sexy Sage
